Wednesday 21 March 2012

189

Father
I have spoken to you the only words
            I knew to speak. Is it such a cold world? Tonight,
                        In the heart of all our meagre life, in this question,
Time holds. I have not lied to you.
            No, I do not lie to children. The manifold lights
                        Are the children of our very souls. Broken starlight.
The dress you wore, I felt like death.
            I found you in the bathroom, under a corona of
                        Light, vomiting into the basin of the toilet. Aureole.

You fear the death of my soul, but not that
            Of my body. But I am composed of nothing if not
                        Of structure. I am animate : this motion is inherent
In the energy from which the structure was
            Derived. I do not know where I derived my love.
                        There is no soul of me than my mind : a proliferate
Clockwork, and nothing more. All you have known
            Of me abides in that mechanism. I am, as I am,
                        No more than an empty vessel. I search through my
Sleep for the silent words of your prayer.

            Let us not be cold. I cannot be cold with you.
                        I have spoken to you the only words I knew to speak.
You are silent like a ghost. The fire has
            Grown and the hills are dancing with it, like flowers.
                        I have realised that everything is ending. Stars fall.
You have lost me in the years : I find now
            My arms have grown weak, I cannot stand.
                        Take courage! A light is passing through the forest.
Ride home, pale roe : my soul will light
            Your way to sleep tonight. God be your keeper,
                        Tonight and until our common end! The dark sings.

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