John sat in the lee of
The house with a tin of leather
Polish and two rags going over
A harness, his back at a
Tangent to the wall and the
Tan hide and brass pins in the
Cradle of his arms and his
Hair lifting in the slight air
And grey light of the pasture,
His hands gripped and body
Intent, working at the soft tissue
And areas that had worn hard,
Like a red carapace.
Dirt and dust had ingrained
And darkened it in some parts.
He sat back and watched crows
Rove the pasture in the stench
Of his cold hands and he held
Them before him like severed
Ends, numb and stained.
The polish smelt good to him.
The harness was laid over
His knees. He reached for
The off cloth and began to buff.
When he had done it was
As if the hemisphere of light overhead
Had ran into it from all points.
It was studded with broken light,
Come through the cloudbank as if
Through a capillary membrane.
Tuesday 31 January 2012
Monday 30 January 2012
170
Papa came in from outside
And lit the standard lamp
And his head beneath it was
An orb shining in a wreath
Of his hard white hair,
And his red neck was a damp
Ridge as he stood beneath the
Lamp and reached down to
The newspaper and traced over
Its surface with his fingers.
He picked it up and coughed
And went to the kitchen and
I could hear his deliberate
Movements and the crack and hiss
As he opened a bottle of beer.
He came back in without looking
At me and sat and then he said
Dewey be quiet when you do go up.
Ma is asleep now.
And I said okay, and he
Looked at me for a second.
His eyes seemed to have
Dropped into his lower lids
As if they were weighted inside,
And his mouth was like a piece
Of cut meat. I looked back
At him and he drank his beer
And then it seemed as if he just
Stared into the wall and then into
The ceiling for a very long time.
And lit the standard lamp
And his head beneath it was
An orb shining in a wreath
Of his hard white hair,
And his red neck was a damp
Ridge as he stood beneath the
Lamp and reached down to
The newspaper and traced over
Its surface with his fingers.
He picked it up and coughed
And went to the kitchen and
I could hear his deliberate
Movements and the crack and hiss
As he opened a bottle of beer.
He came back in without looking
At me and sat and then he said
Dewey be quiet when you do go up.
Ma is asleep now.
And I said okay, and he
Looked at me for a second.
His eyes seemed to have
Dropped into his lower lids
As if they were weighted inside,
And his mouth was like a piece
Of cut meat. I looked back
At him and he drank his beer
And then it seemed as if he just
Stared into the wall and then into
The ceiling for a very long time.
169
The other dove traced a linear
Route from the point of its
Origin to the far eave of
The barn, through its open
Door. At a distance,
It was a small, obscure
Projectile, grey crimson in
The narrow light fallen out
Burning of the belly of cloud
Gathered darkly at the skyline.
John walked wearily back down
The incline from the woods,
Kicking a stone and barely
Lifting his feet and staring
Into the dust of the path.
He could hear the soft
Voices of birds he did not
Recognise from the fields,
Like instruments in the wind.
He began to sing to himself
Under his breath, hoarsely
And soundlessly and as if
Disengaged from his own voice.
There was a weak and tired
Smile on his face and as he
Walked he closed his eyes for
Periods and walked blindly.
As he passed through the yard
The dove was burning in
The dark of its pinions.
Route from the point of its
Origin to the far eave of
The barn, through its open
Door. At a distance,
It was a small, obscure
Projectile, grey crimson in
The narrow light fallen out
Burning of the belly of cloud
Gathered darkly at the skyline.
John walked wearily back down
The incline from the woods,
Kicking a stone and barely
Lifting his feet and staring
Into the dust of the path.
He could hear the soft
Voices of birds he did not
Recognise from the fields,
Like instruments in the wind.
He began to sing to himself
Under his breath, hoarsely
And soundlessly and as if
Disengaged from his own voice.
There was a weak and tired
Smile on his face and as he
Walked he closed his eyes for
Periods and walked blindly.
As he passed through the yard
The dove was burning in
The dark of its pinions.
168
As I was walking down
Out of the track from the wood
I saw a harrier come up
Out of the edge of the trees
With disjointed strokes of its
Bent dark wings like something
Being operated mechanically.
It flew as if it was falling upwards.
It had run up two doves
From the stunted trees
That clattered as if haywire
In double strands together,
Woven up into the air
Fat and white and blackeyed.
The harrier hove in.
It lowered its blond head and
Its long ragged legs rose,
And put its talons forward.
The dove closest seemed to
Fall apart in the air and its
Neck that had seemed free
Was broken before I could
Know it had been caught, and
The harrier folded into a tree
With the bloody carcass pinned
In its foot.
To me it was a pink shape
But as I came up close I
Could see the harrier draw its
Intestine up in its mandible.
Out of the track from the wood
I saw a harrier come up
Out of the edge of the trees
With disjointed strokes of its
Bent dark wings like something
Being operated mechanically.
It flew as if it was falling upwards.
It had run up two doves
From the stunted trees
That clattered as if haywire
In double strands together,
Woven up into the air
Fat and white and blackeyed.
The harrier hove in.
It lowered its blond head and
Its long ragged legs rose,
And put its talons forward.
The dove closest seemed to
Fall apart in the air and its
Neck that had seemed free
Was broken before I could
Know it had been caught, and
The harrier folded into a tree
With the bloody carcass pinned
In its foot.
To me it was a pink shape
But as I came up close I
Could see the harrier draw its
Intestine up in its mandible.
167
Silas and Hollis sat in
The outhouse on Silas' bunk
Watching the midafternoon light
Fall an old hoe that
Rested in the doorway, which was
Still half in shadow.
They were drinking from an opaque
Black bottle, the receptacle
Of some hop liquor Hollis
Had bought several days prior
From a boy on a nearby holding
As he passed on his way back
From the fairground.
Silas was speaking in a monotone
About the nature of light.
How it seemed fluid and yet
Without mass, how it was
Malleable and lacking fixity,
How it could touch and yet not
Be palpable.
He conjectured it was an element
Apart from all others; contingent
On other laws than they,
And not bound by providence
To the conditions that dictated
Their human sight. Hollis drank from
The black bottle
And his lit head nodded
In the formations of dust motes
In the thick air before him.
The outhouse on Silas' bunk
Watching the midafternoon light
Fall an old hoe that
Rested in the doorway, which was
Still half in shadow.
They were drinking from an opaque
Black bottle, the receptacle
Of some hop liquor Hollis
Had bought several days prior
From a boy on a nearby holding
As he passed on his way back
From the fairground.
Silas was speaking in a monotone
About the nature of light.
How it seemed fluid and yet
Without mass, how it was
Malleable and lacking fixity,
How it could touch and yet not
Be palpable.
He conjectured it was an element
Apart from all others; contingent
On other laws than they,
And not bound by providence
To the conditions that dictated
Their human sight. Hollis drank from
The black bottle
And his lit head nodded
In the formations of dust motes
In the thick air before him.
166
In the morning after the rain
Of the night the air rose
In the sudden depression.
As John stood in the
Aperture of the back door
He could feel a wind draw
His shirt out before him
And see the trees lifting their
Confluent limbs into it.
The air tasted of rain, of
The moss and bracken growing
Out of the outside wall
Wet and half crushed
By the wheelbarrow that was leant
Against the wall, wheel down.
He went across the yard
And to the edge of the trees
And lit a cigarette.
The ashes and shortlived
Cinders of it ran down the wind
Following diverse paths into
The wood, each particle
Threading its own way.
Silent and fugitive lights.
The soil was expiring—
The scrub grass animated in the
Draft as if it were lit.
The sky was grey and heavy.
John threw the last of the cigarette
Overarm into the wind.
Of the night the air rose
In the sudden depression.
As John stood in the
Aperture of the back door
He could feel a wind draw
His shirt out before him
And see the trees lifting their
Confluent limbs into it.
The air tasted of rain, of
The moss and bracken growing
Out of the outside wall
Wet and half crushed
By the wheelbarrow that was leant
Against the wall, wheel down.
He went across the yard
And to the edge of the trees
And lit a cigarette.
The ashes and shortlived
Cinders of it ran down the wind
Following diverse paths into
The wood, each particle
Threading its own way.
Silent and fugitive lights.
The soil was expiring—
The scrub grass animated in the
Draft as if it were lit.
The sky was grey and heavy.
John threw the last of the cigarette
Overarm into the wind.
165
Eliot woke in
No light and rode along for
Some minutes in the half
Stirrup of the remains of his dream
And he was sleeping
And knew he was and passing
From thought to thought
As from colour to colour
As the wall grew chalkwhite
In the last of the dark and
Rode on, but couldn't stop the
Light falling in.
The womb, dark, was shot through
With white veins, he was
Cradled in a white sailboat
With a name, and its wood
Knocked as it tossed in the wind and
The trees blew.
It all played back again and he
Picked parts and abstracted them
Like seedheads from a handful of
Grass and turned them
In his sight until
He had fallen back into sleep.
The water lapped.
Sometime later that morning it
Started to rain and he came
To, sweating, because his head had
Fallen between the mattress and
The wall. It was light outside.
No light and rode along for
Some minutes in the half
Stirrup of the remains of his dream
And he was sleeping
And knew he was and passing
From thought to thought
As from colour to colour
As the wall grew chalkwhite
In the last of the dark and
Rode on, but couldn't stop the
Light falling in.
The womb, dark, was shot through
With white veins, he was
Cradled in a white sailboat
With a name, and its wood
Knocked as it tossed in the wind and
The trees blew.
It all played back again and he
Picked parts and abstracted them
Like seedheads from a handful of
Grass and turned them
In his sight until
He had fallen back into sleep.
The water lapped.
Sometime later that morning it
Started to rain and he came
To, sweating, because his head had
Fallen between the mattress and
The wall. It was light outside.
Sunday 1 January 2012
164
The winter before Eliot died
There were long evenings
When the farm would shut
Down early and we would sit
After dinner in silence and then
Everyone went up to bed
Early and the fire would
Burn down in the grate
And I would go up the stairs,
Through the unlit upper hall
And to my room and sit under
The lamp reading my almanac.
The shadow of my head
Over the pages and I would
Have to turn to face it and
Read under it like an icon
In its bracket on the wall.
I heard the house settling
And my pa snoring like
A rhinoceros and the wind,
Each of those early nights.
I would stop reading and
Stare out beyond my reach
Into the unlighted, unhoused
Spaces before me and sometimes
Hear Eliot through the wall
Shift on the frame of his bed,
And I knew that something
Would happen, but I didn't know then
What it was because I was young.
There were long evenings
When the farm would shut
Down early and we would sit
After dinner in silence and then
Everyone went up to bed
Early and the fire would
Burn down in the grate
And I would go up the stairs,
Through the unlit upper hall
And to my room and sit under
The lamp reading my almanac.
The shadow of my head
Over the pages and I would
Have to turn to face it and
Read under it like an icon
In its bracket on the wall.
I heard the house settling
And my pa snoring like
A rhinoceros and the wind,
Each of those early nights.
I would stop reading and
Stare out beyond my reach
Into the unlighted, unhoused
Spaces before me and sometimes
Hear Eliot through the wall
Shift on the frame of his bed,
And I knew that something
Would happen, but I didn't know then
What it was because I was young.
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