As we were headed south,
The sun as it set illumined
The opposite interior panel of
The imitation ebony laminate
That lined the carriage walls.
We came through a grove of
Willow trees that cascaded
Into a small pool, and their
Branches broke the light into
Fragments that swung wildly
Across the walls from north
To south. I remembered that
In my early childhood I had
Slept in the light of a magic
Lantern, which projected over
The walls of my bedroom a
Parade of phantasms that
Rode silently through the dust.
Then I felt that I was calm.
In the aura of light that hung
Over the water, insects gathered,
Their bodies becoming aspects
Of its fulness, like particles of a
Fiery matter held in solution.
Sunday 24 June 2012
Friday 22 June 2012
217
I thought, in our loneliness
We sometimes fall out of this
Continuity of causes. At once
It is as if our access to the
Communion of being had been
Interrupted, some cord severed,
And for a while we can act
Only as would a device that had
Been disconnected from its anima.
Left without command or direct
Imperative we are forced into
Extemporisation. The great lights
Of our culture form a chain,
And that chain is our one hope.
We seek shelter in common loves :
Rather to be loved than free.
It was becoming evening. Workers
Trudged home through the fields
In overalls and white shirts. Light
Struck the crown of a boy's hair :
Marigold! All else faded into blue.
We sometimes fall out of this
Continuity of causes. At once
It is as if our access to the
Communion of being had been
Interrupted, some cord severed,
And for a while we can act
Only as would a device that had
Been disconnected from its anima.
Left without command or direct
Imperative we are forced into
Extemporisation. The great lights
Of our culture form a chain,
And that chain is our one hope.
We seek shelter in common loves :
Rather to be loved than free.
It was becoming evening. Workers
Trudged home through the fields
In overalls and white shirts. Light
Struck the crown of a boy's hair :
Marigold! All else faded into blue.
216
The illusion all vehicles are made
To propagate of control had been
Broken, and all ellided into a
Generalised state of emergency in
Which no cause could be derived
From any end. All sound had gone
Into the chassis of the train
Where it trembled like a body
Under fatigue. All of a sudden a
Sense of enervation came over me
And I realised I had experienced not
The breakdown of all the systems
Of the physical world, but a brief
Attack of anxiety that seemed to
Have confined itself to my person :
Down the carriage I saw that
The other passengers retained their
Placid expressions of disinterested
Observation : some even dozed.
I felt my heart climb down
From its vantage in my gorge
And settle into a phatic rhythm,
And my lungs dilate and admit
Air, and stars danced before
My eyes forming faint vortices.
To propagate of control had been
Broken, and all ellided into a
Generalised state of emergency in
Which no cause could be derived
From any end. All sound had gone
Into the chassis of the train
Where it trembled like a body
Under fatigue. All of a sudden a
Sense of enervation came over me
And I realised I had experienced not
The breakdown of all the systems
Of the physical world, but a brief
Attack of anxiety that seemed to
Have confined itself to my person :
Down the carriage I saw that
The other passengers retained their
Placid expressions of disinterested
Observation : some even dozed.
I felt my heart climb down
From its vantage in my gorge
And settle into a phatic rhythm,
And my lungs dilate and admit
Air, and stars danced before
My eyes forming faint vortices.
Thursday 21 June 2012
215
As I watched the crows fold
Back into themselves and fall
To earth, a thought emerged
From a substrata of my mind,
Where it had been dormant and
Still and where in my distraction
At the passing phenomena of the
World I had not detected it :
That nothing but friction and the
Mass of the engine and carriages
Held the train fast to the rails,
That as the wheels were made
To pivot as the bearing of the line
Altered there could be no bond
Of lateral pressure to adhere
Wheel to rail but rather a
Space allowed for movement.
As I watched the landscape pass
It now felt as if the carriage were
Descending into an acceleration
Of which there could be only
One product and one terminus.
Back into themselves and fall
To earth, a thought emerged
From a substrata of my mind,
Where it had been dormant and
Still and where in my distraction
At the passing phenomena of the
World I had not detected it :
That nothing but friction and the
Mass of the engine and carriages
Held the train fast to the rails,
That as the wheels were made
To pivot as the bearing of the line
Altered there could be no bond
Of lateral pressure to adhere
Wheel to rail but rather a
Space allowed for movement.
As I watched the landscape pass
It now felt as if the carriage were
Descending into an acceleration
Of which there could be only
One product and one terminus.
Wednesday 20 June 2012
214
A wind came up from where
The long grass of a field bent,
Thrumming at the aperture
Of the slightly open window
That ran along the ceiling of
The carriage. I was looking
Down into the field when the
Black bodies of several crows
Rose out of a cavity formed
By the contour of the terrain,
Motionless of themselves, yet
Rising as upon the inaudible
Command of a choreographer.
At an ebb of the upsurging wind
Their bodies seemed to fall from
Them and begin to fragment,
So that it seemed the wind had
Invested them with structure and
Momentum, that now, dissolving
Into the formlessness of their
Origins, they were like phrases
Of thought, living only so long
As they should be held.
The long grass of a field bent,
Thrumming at the aperture
Of the slightly open window
That ran along the ceiling of
The carriage. I was looking
Down into the field when the
Black bodies of several crows
Rose out of a cavity formed
By the contour of the terrain,
Motionless of themselves, yet
Rising as upon the inaudible
Command of a choreographer.
At an ebb of the upsurging wind
Their bodies seemed to fall from
Them and begin to fragment,
So that it seemed the wind had
Invested them with structure and
Momentum, that now, dissolving
Into the formlessness of their
Origins, they were like phrases
Of thought, living only so long
As they should be held.
Tuesday 19 June 2012
212
The carriage resonated with the
Force of its uneven passage :
I felt my body tense to it
In accommodation as inertia
Of reality were continually in
Review. My body a subject
Only, the incidental conduit
Of some far and other object
Without our mundane sense.
So, I drew a solace into
This scattershot momentum.
The participal of my existence,
Held in the causes of all such
Great machinery, the weight
And fuel and carnage of it forging
From station to lighted station.
The plain words of a life without
Emergency, spoken each in turn.
Force of its uneven passage :
I felt my body tense to it
In accommodation as inertia
Held me first here, then here,
As if the process by which
Providence stationed the elementsOf reality were continually in
Review. My body a subject
Only, the incidental conduit
Of some far and other object
Without our mundane sense.
So, I drew a solace into
This scattershot momentum.
The participal of my existence,
Held in the causes of all such
Great machinery, the weight
And fuel and carnage of it forging
From station to lighted station.
The plain words of a life without
Emergency, spoken each in turn.
211
Further on, the trees broke for
A fleeting instant on the prospect
Of a narrow stretch of river that
Lay grey and overhung with low
Branches, where diseased lilies
Lay on the water like debris.It was a slow capillary that
Drank of the dust coming from
The rails and of the pollen
And blossom from its edges.
In the water a white crane stood
Hunting for fish, a silent and
Deathlike figure in the dropping air,
Its eyes covered with black as if
By a mask and its ear seeming
Stained with blood or covered with
The satin of a crimson banner.
After a moment this all passed,
Remaining only as a pale iteration
In my mind. The memory decayed
Almost at the moment of its forming,
So that it was all but gone
Several minutes later, when I
Looked up and saw that the seat
Across from me lay empty.
210
The undergrowth seemed to fall,
Petrified, from its place, like
The long line of a breaker
Caught in the consummation of
Its power, that moment that
Precipitates collapse. So the
Ourflung arms of rhododendron
And brush seemed to entreat,
Turning in place at our passage,
Stunted and botched and dark
Like the abandoned prototypes
Of some now-perfected engine.
A heat lay coiled in my gut,
Watching the shadows surge, the
Carriage contributing its
Shade, watching the brief flight
Of a mourning dove from branch
To far branch, an instance
Of a life among other instances,
Among other lives, so alien to
What one knows by understanding.
I cannot hold you in my hands,
I say to that body flung softly into
The air of its lonely force.
Petrified, from its place, like
The long line of a breaker
Caught in the consummation of
Its power, that moment that
Precipitates collapse. So the
Ourflung arms of rhododendron
And brush seemed to entreat,
Turning in place at our passage,
Stunted and botched and dark
Like the abandoned prototypes
Of some now-perfected engine.
A heat lay coiled in my gut,
Watching the shadows surge, the
Carriage contributing its
Shade, watching the brief flight
Of a mourning dove from branch
To far branch, an instance
Of a life among other instances,
Among other lives, so alien to
What one knows by understanding.
I cannot hold you in my hands,
I say to that body flung softly into
The air of its lonely force.
209
Each
green bronchus seemed to
Have
been arrested in the process
Of
munition : every growth coming
To
propagate growth in a sequential
Catalogue
of possible forms so
The
totality of all its manifestations
Should
transcend the observer,
Attaining
that omniprescence of
Any
complacent prospect that wills
Itself
extended beyond all made
Boundaries
: being, as it was, a reef
Upon
the air that heaved as if
Assuring of
supraplein abundance.
The sense
of the sublime is
As a light
that runs its cable deep
Into the
heart of our being,
I disclosed
to myself in silence,
As the
train passed in state
Through
dusty crepuscular rays
That fell
from flaws in the vault
Of the
canopy. I will take that
Light to me
as I would any other.
208
Parallax
Spun the
whitetops around them
Like
dancers, the axis forming
Of one
instance wherever one
Should look
: the laying of sight
Made
the point where all of it
Would
pirouette, for as long
As the look
remained static.
So that
in looking one set a
Dance
in motion contained in
Itself and
ephemeral as will.
The bridge
ran out, the last
Spokes
converging fluidly to
A point out
of sight below the
Lower
frontier of the window,
A
figurative vertice.
The
trees came on like sleep.
The
canopy was high as if our
Conveyance
had fallen below the
Surface of
a lake that remained
Nonetheless
visible far over us,
Passing
through the conjugations
Of a
regular mutation, as ageless
As smoke.
207
The girders
passed the aperture
Of the
window and they shone
Yellow
and grey with rust
As if
they had aged during
The rain.
At the interstices of
The
structure of the bridge
Rainwater
pooled and cascaded
Weakly, as
the rain had ceased.
It
was like an attribute
The
structure shed : now with
No utility
than mass it fell
From those
blank surfaces of
Crusted
metal as from a falls.
The bridge
bore light solidly,
And there
was water beyond
Heaving
grey with presence :
A body
that seemed almost
To leap and
be dragged back
With each
instance of girdage
Through
which it was rendered
Visible
and invisible in turn.
It was
a pinwheel kinema
Going away
into itself as the
Motion of
the carriage bore it
Behind into
partiality and then
To eclipse
beyond the threshold
Of the
windowframe.
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